The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
You're not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think Id ever kick it with you
None of you are going to heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to
You shouldn't rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do
(It's pretty obvious just don't fucking rape people)
And don't think masturbation is obscene
Its absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing ive ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I send gays to fix overpopulation, boy did that go well
You're not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns
None of you are going to heaven
You're not my children you're a bad games of Sims
You shouldn't abstain from pork just because you think that I want you to
You can eat pork, because why the fuck would I give a shit?
(I created the universe, do you think im drawing the line at the fucking deli isle?)
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheist, Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth the try
My love is the type of thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it, you won't need it (2x)
I'm not going to give you love just because I know that you want me to
If you want love then love is gonna come from you
